Tuesday, November 23, 2010

You know you have been in Holland for too long when... (II part)

46. You know that kapsalon is not a typical turkish dish, but a hairdresser
47. You start to think that the strange position of the hole in the WC is not that disgusting (it is.)
48. You find it easier to find a good joint than a good coffee
49. You have the AH bonus card (you bet I do)
50. Your windows have no curtains, and you don't care (they do have, I just never use them)

51. If your windows have curtains, you don't use them, and just don't care who might be looking at you (see what I mean ?)
52. For you, light rain is not rain (Light rain IS rain - I am Brazilian, I am made of sugar)
53. Professors write a "well done" comment in your assignment and still grade you with a 6
54. You can drink beer in the cinema (Yeaahhh)
55. 10°C is warm enough to wear a short or mini skirt (I do not wear that since I have become a mother)

56. You can ride your bike in the rain, wind and even snow. (and without hands) 
57. Guys are very cute (I miss seeing a South European five o'clock shadow now and then...)
58. You can ride your bike wearing skirt - if you're a girl, a suit or even high heels -if you're a girl. (heels: check)
59. When you start having strong opinion even if you vaguely know the topic. (I used to be like that in Brazil as well)
60. When you "wash" the dishes with soap without rincing them (Well, I have a dishwasher. And if I have to hand wash dishes I always rince them)

61. "Alstublieft" and "dank u wel" are the only dutch words you know. (I also know "goedemorgen" among others)
62. You aren't surprised anymore that the disco closes at 4 - but it still pisses you off.
63. You learn to bike without using your hands on the handle (check #56)
64. You go to the market and you only buy the stuffs that fit in you bike basket (true, hahahaha!)
65. Riding a bike and driking coffee/smoking/eating lunch at the same time is not a problem any more

66. You reformulate the saying "if you drink, don't drive" by "if you drink, don't ride" (I always tell this to my husband... he laughs)
67. You've been asked where the coffeeshop is (several times)
68. You start wearing orange during soccer events, even when you're not Dutch (no!)
69. You get used not to use napkins when eating. You just eat dirtily. (I always have my own ones) 
70. You know what GVD stands for

71. You can never predict the weather and can not believe the weather forecast anymore
72. You wait for the light to go green before crossing the street, even if there is no car (I am a well trained expat)
73. You sometimes eat only with a spoon (are you kidding me ? no way !)
74. You tried fried fish from the caravans at least once (Once ? Many times!)
75. You clap the lecturer just because he's been speaking for 2 hours
76. You run to Albert Heijn at 21.55 to get some beer for the party that night
77. Trees planted in straight rows - aka the forest - seems normal  (no, it is not normal; it is a Dutch forest)
78. You think you understand why they don't serve coffee at coffeeshops (but I'm not sure yet)
79. You steal a bike at the station because the night before someone stole yours - HAHAHAH!
80. You think it is okay to eat multicoloured sprinkels on bread for breakfast (no. Argh!)
81. You use 9292ov.nl to go to the supermarket (sometimes)
82. You know that the wind blows in your face regardless of the direction in which you are biking (always)
83. You don't even try to park in an unauthorised area just to 'pick something up in 5min', because you know you will get a ticket in 30seconds (I can talk by experience)
84. When you move out of your appartment, you know you might have to take the floors with you

85. Stepping in doggiepoo on the sideawalk becomes almost a daily thing.
86. You end up eating super greasy food at 5am at FEBO or ALEV
87. And after that, you manage to bike home still completely wasted and go to work/class at 8:00
88. You need an appointement to talk with your friends. Or your mother. (No way - mine is Brazilian thus... 24hday 7/7 available)
89. You enjoy making tourists jump off the bike path (I loooove it !)

90. You paid more for the lock of your bike than for the bike itselft (Oh My, the harsh reality!)
91. Real bread? You've made your peace with it. It doesn't exist. (I got used to brown sliced ones)
92. You know that the Netherlands doesn't have a special dish. They just fry everything. (or overcook everything)
93. You know getting a couch will be difficult because it doesn't fit through the door. (Windows maybe?)
94. You're ok spending Queen's Day in the train because people are walking on the rails

95. You pay for ketchup at the fast food and think it's normal (I do not consumme that)
96. Kroket, Frikandel, Frietjes met (of zonder mayo) are your normal on your food vocabulary (no!)
97. You know at least 1 guy called Jaap, Joost, Joop or Jeroen (1?)
98. You take your own plastic bag to the supermarket ("It is good for the environment")
99. "Lekker", "leuk", "gezellig", "mooi" and "lekker weer" are expressions that are also on your vocabulary (they are mandatory once the Dutch would get confused if I preferred to elaborate on that)
100. When you cry once you have to go back to your homeland. (serious ?)


Invader_Stu said...

I had to laugh at number 60. My wife does that.

Anita said...

They all do that. And get puzzled if you rince... with fresh water.

Daniduc said...

I loved the post. I did my own version here:

Loved it! Did my own version here: http://blog.daniduc.net/2010/11/23/you-know-you-have-been-in-the-nl-for-too-long-when/

Anita said...

You did your own version, cute! ;)
I didn't know about this other blog of yours... Thanks for linking me.

Daniduc said...

Well, it's more of a very personal/experimental blog, I don't promote it very often; to be frank I actually took it out from Google... but anyways, I liked your idea so much I wanted to to it myself :) (it begun with me writing a comment that was becoming be so huge that I thought, ok, this is not going to work... hehe)

Jaboticaba Preta said...

LOL oh dear...what can I say: I've been long enough :D